Tag Archives: observations

e-piphany

by · · 8 comments

Most of you know I’ve scaled back on releases and have been less than firm on update times. Basically I’m on a “get to it when I get to it” type of schedule. I do want to make a couple of things clear – this graphic novel will be finished. It might take a little time, but the train will reach the station, safe and sound.

I figure another thirty pages or so to cap off The Betrayal. If I had stuck to the schedule, it would be done in 10 weeks (mid March). Without a solid update schedule, it could be closer to May by the time this is done. I’ll be honest with you – I don’t anticipate I’ll have time for anything personal once the kid is in hand. That remains to be seen.

What I do know is this – bear with me. I had an epiphany yesterday.

Last night I sat on the couch, exhausted. Work has been busy, I’ve had appointments all week and my wife is due any time now. I just sat there in silence, breathing. The first thing that popped into my head was ‘What was I doing 20 years ago that kept me carefree and artistically motivated?’

I remembered some comics I made about some of the teachers in High School that were a riot. Then it dawned on me – I did that for fun – I never wanted to do anything more than create this saga and pass it around for a laugh and then store it away. (I still have it, intact – pencils on lined paper) So where did I get diverted into this idea where I wanted to be a professional? Is it the common yearning most people have? To seek out a job that will fulfill their desires and cater to their skills?

It’s funny that it took over 15 years to realize that there is a balance between being proud of your accomplishments and chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist. Businessmen do this all the time – there is a perceived value to everything, but there will always be something better to chase, conquer and acquire. Sometimes, that drive overshadows the accomplishments of the past, and these people expect to top each success with one that is even bigger. It’s a motivator for some, but it is also a painful form of torture for many.

You’re never happy with what you’ve got or what you’re doing. There always has to be something… better.

Well, I’m puling my thumbs out of the screws. I’m not going to subject myself to that any longer – especially since I never wanted to be caught up in the race in the first place. El Cuervo was supposed to be an accomplishment – but I never set the parameters for that accomplishment. Was it a printed book? Was it success and acclaim amongst my peers? Was it financial gain? Or was it simply to just get it done and out there?

Well – the more I worked on it, the more the parameters became less clear. I became too involved with what I could do instead of what I wanted to do. Last night, with ass firmly planted on couch, the parameters suddenly became clear. It was like the final settling of all the sedimentary ideas that had been shaken up and swirled in my head. The water of thought was clear – even though I was preoccupied with a million other things – this was the only thing that had clarity.

You can bet I embraced that sucker as tightly as possible. It was an easy solution to a lingering problem. I’ve always looked for some form of simplicity but never took the time to figure it all out. And all it took was one flump on the couch to force it all out.

The verdict:

There’s a few things I want to accomplish, change, improve. So here’s a grocery list – similar to the blog post I made earlier about goals, here’s something a bit more concise.

  1. Complete The Betrayal
    This is a given. I started it, I’ll finish it, but I’m going to enjoy doing it. That means putting it out when I have the time and energy.
  2. Continue providing Tutorials and Podcast advice on Webcomic Alliance
    I enjoy writing articles and talking shop on the podcast, and if I don’t have time to contribute, there are others on the team willing to lend a hand. It’s a good group.
  3. Get back in to different artistic avenues
    I talked about this before, but sculpting, painting and writing are going to be my creative releases for this year.
  4. Start a Comic Strip
    The Majors! I didn’t put all this planning into it, just to see it shelved. Look for this in October.
  5. Other avenues of fulfillment
    Being a dad, doing some renovations, exploring other online pursuits are all on my ‘to-do’ list.
  6. Lose some weight, get active
    I’ve already started this – back on the wagon, lost 4 lbs, looking to drop another 10.

I want to be happy – I don’t want to feel like everything is such a chore. So its time to figure out what my real responsibilities are and what my priorities are, and leave everything else to the ‘fun’ pile. No stress, no commitments, no worries.

I feel better already.

The Rundown 2012

by · · 2 comments

Well – 2012 is upon us, and with that – new exciting opportunities, enthusiasm and motivation to get us going! I enjoy the new year, but it doesn’t truly start for me until the 3rd (it’s my birthday). Having a birthday so close to the start of the calendar year allows me to reflect back on all of the crazy stuff that happened 365 days ago – and start with a clean, blank page. rather than spout on and on about what I did, how about I tell you all about what I’m going to do. That’s more exciting!

WHOA BABY! Check it out!

I’ve told a number of you that my wife and I are expecting a baby. It’s our first, and we’re pretty excited and nervous at the same time. The good thing is, we have a lot of family close by and on-hand to help out. The bad thing is, our little one will be taking up most of my time for the first few weeks. Just giving you a heads up now, in case you’re wondering what is happening later.

I tried to create a large buffer that would carry us into the end of The Betrayal, but sadly I couldn’t get enough time to sit and work for a decent period of time. It takes me about 2 hours to do a page from thumbs to uploaded render, but I didn’t even have 2 hours to spare in the days leading up to the Christmas/New Year break. I was very adamant about NOT doing any work over the holidays, so the only updates I had to cover were a couple of splash pages and some new pages that I burned through very quickly.

Most people didn’t really care – holidays are for family. But the new year is for pulling up the bootstraps and getting to work. As much as I’d love to commit to a schedule and do it up right, I’m basically in a holding pattern until the baby shows up and we get into a proper routine again. My plan of attack this month is to sneak in updates as I complete them, and post to G+ and Twitter to alert all you readers out there. You may get one in a week, you may get 5 (that would be AWESOME!)

So – I direct your attention to the left hand side of this post. There is an RSS button where you can pick up my updates in your RSS reader. You can also subscribe to have El Cuervo arrive in your email inbox. Or you can follow the Google+ group I’ve set up by clicking on that fat G+ button.

— So what else is new?

Well, I have a few other things to mention. I’ve been a part of the Webcomic Alliance for a few months now. I was more of a fill-in during the podcast and a regular article writer. Since WA has decided to scale back to three times a week to allow for members to get their personal lives in order, you probably won’t hear me on any upcoming podcasts for a little while. Sorry to disappoint the long form serious comic types looking for my take on issues. I will fill in as needed, but it seems that we have the core four back in the saddle to discuss topics for the week. I will, however, still be contributing to articles on the site – so make sure you check them out when they land.

The next thing to mention is a strip based project I’ve been working on since last summer that is set for launch this fall – hopefully to coincide with the puck drop on the 2012-13 NHL season.

It’s called: The Majors.

The strip revolves around two brothers – Alex and Eddie, who end up winning the lottery and buying their favorite hometown hockey team. They soon find out that ownership isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It’s going to be more of an all-ages arc driven strip featuring an ethnically diverse cast, using the hockey ‘life’ as the central backdrop. It’s not terribly complicated, and it’s not going to be extremely deep. Just some good fun at the arena, with a crazy bunch of characters.

I had started previewing characters during Tyler James 30 Characters challenge, but I grew frustrated with the connection errors to the site. I’m guessing it was from a rapidly expanding database and the huge number of participants. I will probably start previewing some characters on my Google+ account to build hype for the launch of the comic in October. I’m really excited to put this type of work out there – since it is such a radical departure from El Cuervo.

While we’re on the topic of El Cuervo – The first book is set to come to a close. Now, I’m happy with the art style and this past year has been a great way to develop a fluent, efficient workflow – but I’m not 100% content with how the story has been told.

As a written novel, it works. There’s a lot of exposition and dialogue and interaction between characters. But it’s been too simplified for the translation to a graphic novel. I do enjoy producing El Cuervo as a graphic novel, but I think I may revert back to a regular written novel that I started with. I have to say, this has been an interesting experiment and fun to produce, but I’m dissatisfied with the way the story is being told. The only way I can express what I’m visualizing is through prose.

SO – it looks like Eddie’s continuing adventures will be of the written form. Now that the world of self-publishing for mobile devices has been cracked wide open, I’m really interested in writing again. Rather than beat my head against the wall to try and get printed books out to the masses and worry about inventory and shipping, I’ve been lured by the siren song of epubs and digital books.

I’ve been tracking a few young authors in my neck of the woods who have been making things happen with their writing. I went to school with this strapping young lad and he has produced quite a number of sci-fi novels for the Kindle and other e-readers. Randy has been doing it for quite some time now, and has gained a nice following from his body of work. Another person of interest is Blake Northcott who is the author of Vs.Reality. and has been writing screenplays for TV out of Toronto.

I’m not looking to write the next biggest thing – I just want to write something that people find enjoyable to read in a genre we share a common interest in. If it gains notoriety – then that’s awesome. If it’s panned, I’ll just pick up the pieces and make something newer, stronger and better.

Will I give up creating comics? The answer is – NO. That’s the reason why I’m shifting gears and releasing The Majors. Its a strip that is easy to rattle off, enjoyable to write for and doesn’t require any deep thought. I can save that for the novels I’d like to write. :)

Wanna know what else your friendly neighbourhood author is up to?

In a deeper, darker corner of the internet, hidden away from the eyes of most webcomic reading folk is a tech-jock site dedicated to hockey gaming. I used to help run the site – it’s called The Breakaway, and it was a big part of building my online persona from 2001 up until 2008. Lots of good folk there, lots of good times.

Other than moderating and being an administrator, I used to make graphic mods for the EA Sports NHL series on PC. There hasn’t been a new game since 2008, but there are a small few who continue creating mods for this game, and keeping the game on life support. The odd time, I’ll get the desire to put out a small mod here and there. There are times where I’ve come up with bigger plans, but have left them on the back burner. One of my goals for this year is to complete one of the biggest mods I’ve ever made. Its a complete transformation of all the menu and ingame overlay graphics to mimic the TV presentation style look of the iconic Canadian broadcast – Hockey Night in Canada.

So far, I’ve changed a bunch of the ingame menus and done a ton of hex editing to the scoreboard and player overlays. There’s still a lot more to do, but this is one legacy project I want to complete before the year is through.

They’re not identical due to some graphical limitations, but folks who watch the broadcast will recognize some of the consistent visuals you get while watching the actual game.

 

So that’s going to be MY 2012. What’s yours gonna be like?

BLOG: Miller’s Crossing

by · · 2 comments

I wasn’t going to make any comments about this, but it seems that the words of a bitter, middle-aged, patriotic conservative white man in America carry a lot of steam and have rubbed a significant number of folks the wrong way.

It’s too bad – I don’t really agree with Frank Miller, but I’ve come to grips with his bristly personality many years ago. I knew about his political slant, and his dislike for things that disrupt the fabric of conservative culture. His views that ‘America is the beacon of all that is good and just in the world, and that every man woman and child born there has the God given right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – the American Dream.’

It’s been evident in his comics writing. He was once lauded for his gritty portrayals of superheroes becoming anti-heroes and vigilantes. Ones that adhere to a moral code driven by the likes of Hammurabi. That seeking revenge and retribution by any means necessary is justified, if it’s for the greater good of society. That it is absolutely fine to bend the rules and break the law and dole out punishment because it’s justified. Now he is hated for it.

But these are comics – not real life. Eventually readers grow tired of seeing the same message over and over again. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a fan of Miller’s work for years – but he’s basically become a one-trick pony. The recycled basic idea of the world as a cesspool and society needing someone who has had enough and will do what it takes to restore and protect a level of honour or integrity that has been missing. It’s usually achieved through revenge and redemption. A classic set-up. I can’t complain – it is the construct that serves as the foundation for El Cuervo. Sure, Frank Miller didn’t invent it, but at one point in time he revolutionized comics by introducing it – and that has been his schtick. he’ll continue to do it as long as people keep buying his work.

I’m not going to put words in his mouth, but his attitude towards society is polluted. His opinions are only about protecting the integrity of America and its people, and damn everyone who dares to question these God given rights and look for better, less confrontational and aggressive ways. Because that would be weak – and America is not weak. Its people aren’t weak. Its systems aren’t weak. The country sets the world standard and its people are the ambassadors of that.

When Frank decided to go off on Occupy Wall Street protesters, branding them as dirty hippies, disorganized, disenfranchised, lazy and uncouth – as rapists and thugs and everything that is evil and corrupting to the fabric of the American ideal, I knew there was going to be a backlash. The idea that the infighting needed to stop because there was a need to stamp out a larger threat to the American ideal – terrorism and the spread of Islam – and the 99% proletariat should be ashamed of themselves for trying to tear down America.

Look – I don’t exactly agree with the way OWS is working. But it’s not my movement to lead. I have my own opinions of the movement, and they may not be things that supporters want to hear. But I wouldn’t use my site or social media as a method to make those views known. I’ve made a few comments on a friend’s post on Facebook, but never in a manner to discredit what OWS is about.

When you’re a media personality and highly revered in certain circles, you have a large audience at your command. Thus, when you spout off about a personal belief that is blindly ignorant, tactless and venomous, it is going to achieve maximum reach in a minimal amount of time – mainly because people look for that sort of behaviour to tear the person down and vilify them in turn.

Do I think Frank Miller is going to have to reap what he’s sown? Probably not – he’s achieved the same status as any other pundit, pounding the lectern about how terrorists and Muslims are assisting in destroying the fabric of American society and culture.

Have I lost respect for the guy? Not really – I never really valued his opinion just as he probably hasn’t even given a shit about mine. I knew he was a blow-hard, and I’m quite aware that his writing style is abrasive and ignorant – but I still consider him a big influence on my development in comics.

You see, his early work is what inspired me to look beyond the garish colours of the capes and cowls. That these heroes are often imperfect. They make bad decisions just like regular people. They have dark pasts and secrets just like everyone else – and when push comes to shove, react in a manner that is aggressive or confrontational. It’s the dark side of humanity – and that is what hooked me.

Is every character supposed to be like that? Hell no – but unfortunately it is in Frank Miller’s world. And what a sad little world that must be.